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kriszeth
04 July 2008 @ 09:54 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
I have nothing to say, really, except that wherever you are, I wish you the best.
You have made me cry and laugh and think about you A LOT.
I know we'll never meet, but I hope that everything goes your way, that your work and hopes won't go to waste, that you fight for what you believe in and that you'll reach your dreams..
Jin, I wish you  happiness and a long life.
I hope you find the love you wish for, that you cherish everything and everyone you hold dear and that those that hold you dear cherish you the same way.
Happy birthday Jin
Thank you for all you've made me feel
 
 
Current Location: In between
Melody: Sad Song by Kamenashi Kazuya
 
 
kriszeth
28 June 2008 @ 06:43 pm
Enuentros cercanos del segundo tipo  
So, yesterday I went with my parents to Leon. I was gonna buy shoes, but I ended up not buying anything as always, even when i spent hours perusing shops.
Have I ever told you I hate going shopping? 
But that's not the point. The point is, when I was ridding the bus (at rush hour, too. Everyone was going to school/wrok/nowhere) and there was this young man.
Do you remenber Koki in Real Face time? Well, I was two meters away from the mexican version of Koki!!!
They looked so alike, even at the plucked eyebrows, his nose, his lips, his build, the bouzu style.EVERYTHING! I kept wondering if I could get away with asking him if he knew by any chance about KAT-TUN. God, I wanted so much to take a photo with my cell, but Mom was beside me and that would be just awkward. 
Though I still acted like a freak and kept sneaking peeks at him with a surely creepy smile on my face (do you know the word subtle? I can't say I did at that moment)
Aaaaaah! Now I just keep thinking, "If I only could meet the mexican version of Kame or Jin or Yamapi" but I'm not much hopeful about it. I still wish it, though.
But that would be awkward, ne. Imagine him asking me "So what atracted you to me?" and I answering along the lines of "Well, you really look like one of the japanese boys I tend to fangirl about" and him being somethng like "... What?" 
So...
... Yeah.
I almost-but-not-quite met the look alike of Tanaka Koki. I wonder if he has a friend that looks like Kame or Maru and is all guei with him. That'd be awesome.
In other things, and in the topic of gueiness, I read this old entry in kattunlove about akame rabu.
All fangirls that commented go along the lines of "They're not gay and I wouldnt want them to be gay, but OMGthefanservice, the slash the porn"
There's something I believe too. I don't think there is only friendship love (I should know, I've been over the same boat). the body language, the awkwardness, the ignoring-on-purpose, the sneaking glances and just everything akame, I think. Sometimes I'm watching some kattun clip an there's something so deep, so pure and raw and it HURTS to feel it and not knowing or, worst, that they don't know it.
I've never though about it all on the grounds of "soulmates" but it somehow fits. The kizuna between them goes beyond words and beyond all I know about them and I hope that at least they know about it, beacuse it'd be such a lost if they do not. Still, this world is nothing but stereotypes and appearances, specially in their line of work.
I just, I don't know, I hope they don't regret the choices they make simply for keeping up appearances.
Also, getting worked up for people I won't ever meet is creeping me out, so I'll stop.
 
 
Current Location: my bed
Current Mood: contemplative
Melody: Keep the Faith - KAT-TUN
 
 
kriszeth
16 June 2008 @ 10:45 am
the me that'll never come back... or at least i hope so  

EVER FELT LIKE THIS?
 

 
New semester in shool:
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   This semester I'm gonna put all my effort into school!!


First week:
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    So hard and it has been only a week, mou

 
Second week:
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     Ok, I'm getting into it again

Before the first test
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      I need to begin preparing for the exams

In the first exam period 
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     Uwaaaa!!!! Why didn't I study?


After the firt exam period
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     At least!! No more presure, I can relax
 
Before finals:
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   Chill out, I'll pass, I just need to study a little more for finals

Once you know the date and time of the final:

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   WHAT?!!!!! SO SOON?!!!!!!!!!!

 
7 days before the test
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   I'll begin studying tomorrow
 
6days before the test
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Yappari, I love this song!

 
5 days before the test
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  The last classes in the semester are so boring. MOU! I want to go on break already

4 days before the exam
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Fucking end of semester. I need to relax so I can begin to study
 
3 days before the test
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Yahoo!! I'll be on break soon!

 
2 days before the test
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  Mou, damnit!!!! I have a lot to study
 
A day before the test
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 Why, oh why didn't I study in the semester?!!!!!!!

The night before the test
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 Ok, now I'll begin to stu.... zzzzzzzzz

 
One hour before the test

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     HOW COULD I HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP?!!!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T I STUDY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
In the final exam

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   It's all over, I'm doomed

Once you get out the exam
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  God help me, I swear that if I pass I'l study earnestly

After finals, on break
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   Who rocks, eh? WHO ROCKS?!!!

 

So, everything up there? My coping up in school. It's pathetic, since, you know, I'm in college and supposed to be responsible. Actually, after Tomorrows exam I'll graduate... once the teachers give me my scores, that is, but I'm possitive I didn't fail in my classes, though i could have put a little more effort
 
 
Current Location: my room
Melody: Rhodesia - KAT-TUN
 
 
kriszeth
08 May 2008 @ 07:22 pm
Because Shige is PURE AWESOME and I'm a Copycat  

Lately, ne, I've been reading Shige's essays in Myojo. I must say "Wow!", because is always refreshing and touching and just plain awesome how he can write all THAT from only one word. Mostly because he does not try to give out lessons and advice, but because he's giving you inkling into his life, how he thinks and how he feels. It's clearly enjoyable how his words link into this amazing piece of reading material from what seem simple prompts.

And so, here's my failed attempt into this kinda writing, although mine WILL be 1 000 times more depresing. God, I need to see kurosagi, definitely, when is it gonna be subbed again? Is someone even gonna sub it? Anybody?

 

Camera )

 

 
 
Current Mood: melancholy
Melody: song for me - ohno satoshi
 
 
kriszeth
01 May 2008 @ 03:22 pm
... and even now, i still tremble at the whisper of your death  
so, today. today was one of those days when i wish i never got up. at all.
in religion class, we were talking about love. about how in a relashionship ypu always have to sacrifice something. things you like and time spent in other things non related with your boyfriend. i told the teacher it was not like that.
that the reason why a relashionship can work out it's not because the two pass all their time together, but because the two people have qualities on their own that can support the bond between them.
also, that there were two types of relashionships. one triangular and one square like.
that the triangular one was based on thoughts of that person (that i described as obsession), one i don't remember the name of and passion (that reminded me a little too much of lust in the way this shit described it). as i usually think outloud, i said: i've never felt like that. 
to wich i was told that i was never really in love to begin with and i got kind of mad, because, who are they to tell me i've never fallen in love?!
i think lifetime relashionship shows just how deep in love i still am was with Master, so i told them about it (not a lot, though, there is too much history to ever finish it) 
and then i told them he died. i thought i was over it, ne. because, it happened a year ago and we hadn't really seen each other in the last couples years and....
i was shaking. i had to clasp my hands to stop the shaking and my laughs only left me feeling empty and oh, god, i thought i was gonna end up crying.
....
i just. i wanted to writte about this, i suppose. because i have nothing else to say for now.
it's just. it surprised me, ne.
the shaking, it was so raw...
 
 
 
Current Location: the kitchen
Current Mood: confused
Melody: real face - kat-tun
 
 
kriszeth
09 April 2008 @ 10:50 am
In which it's YamaPi's birthday and I fail  
So, oficially, YamaPi's Birthday is over in his time zone, but it's just the middle of April the ninth in mine. I stil want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAMAPI, I HOPE YOU GET TO ONE HUNDRED and MEAN it with all my heart, which is kind of weird, because I don't even celebrate MY own birthday (I still celebrated Master's, though)
I thought I couldupload the first chapter of How to let go as some kind of tribute, but I fail something major, because I've been feeling like shit and just too lazy to write. Still, though and I still can't believe I'm gonna say this and MEAN IT, but what the hell!, since I discovered the date of his birth I've become really excited about it, almost the same way when I found out Master's birthday. 
(Yes, I also thnk is kind of creepy BUT I CAN'T HELP MYSELF! And I don't even want to)
I've been wondering, though, why am I so besotted to YamaPi, in particular, and all the other JE boys, in general.
I remember the first time I saw him in Nobuta wo Produce, how I thought How cute!!!!, but still could only think Kame, Kame, Kame, Kame... only it was something along the lines of Shuuji, Shuuji, Shuuji!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I did not know Kame's name at that time, you see), so yeah.
I'm being really deep, aren't I?
I still wanted him to end up with Nobuta, though, because they're BEAUTIFUL together, which is why Kurosagi was a dream come true (it's just, you know, they didn't end up together there either)
I WANT SO BADLY TO SEE KUROSAGI THE MOVIE, WHY HAVEN'T I? Oh, yeah, something along the lines of not finding it uploaded in direct download and subbed and my brother being mean and don't letting me download any drama from his pc when he knows I can't download from mine
So... I totally forgot what I've been thinking to write the last hour
It's just, he really is perfect. He has all this cualities I love in a man (from what I've read,  I mean). His personality being as complex or as simple as you feel it. Sometimes, I think he's everything I've ever wanted (after Master, I mean, but he is dead now and I'm still here) and feel like I'm everything he would despise in a person and that makes me feel depressed which is stupid because I will never meet him, know him, talk to him or nothing and.... I want to. I've never ever wanted someone like this and is begining to scare me, because a person doesn't fall in love this way, this is obsession and it somehow taints it all and I feel dirty and this is getting more and more depressing, isn't it?
So maybe when I feel in better spirits I'll try to describe why I like him in this unhealty way (maybe it'll even help me to get over it which I doubt) and feel ok about it all and keep on going, learn how to let go, you know
 
 
Melody: Sayaendo - NewS
 
 
kriszeth
18 March 2008 @ 12:05 pm
I can't write  
So, you remember I was writing a Nobuta/Kurosagi fanfic?
Well, it's not writing itself and I can't! Mou!
I have chapter two almost finished, but chapter one is being a pain in the ass
I have all this wonderful scenes in my mind and I can't write them and it's frustating me so...
At least, I'm on break for two weeks. God bless Semana Santa.
So...
I don't have much to say. Except I painted my room. It's green, like, my favorite color.
Though most people think my favorite color is black. Mostly because half my clothes are black.
My nails are green. Have been green for two days now, no matter how much I wash my hands, so yeah.
Mom wants me to paint all the third floor in white. I'm not against painting, but WHY white?
The reason I painted my room was because white was making me go crazy, which I think is absurd, but it's true. Once I saw the green color in the walls I began feeling better, calmer, I don't know, but that feeling of being enclosed slowly by my own walls has dissapeared.
Now I need to buy green curtains. And new bedclothes. Preferably in green. Because, you know, it's my favorite color.
So, I'm going now to stalk  watch my friends page, because I have like three days wothout watching it and most probably I'll have to go back like 900 entries, which is hell most of the time, but I love it all the same.
 
 
kriszeth
26 February 2008 @ 08:37 am
Nobuta fanfic  
So, I actually wrote one. 
I'm not sure how to call it still, though, I'm between Moving on and How to let go, so any opinions? 
also, this is not beta'ed so it may have a lot of mistakes seeing english is no my native language.

kon! )

Reviews anyone?
 
 
Current Location: where I don't want to stay
Melody: Why - NewS
 
 
kriszeth
02 February 2008 @ 12:32 pm
I am NOT a fangirl. Really, I'm not one...  

 
 
 
Current Location: my brother's laptop
Current Mood: accomplished
Melody: weeeek! - NewS
 
 
kriszeth
28 January 2008 @ 09:52 pm
Bleh!  

Weeeek!

My favorite song right about now.

Ok, into more... serious? Other things. I've wondering What's the point?

Esther keeps saying  Please, confide in me. Tell me about you, the things you do and the things you like. What you see and what you want.

That's great coming from a friend, specially when I felt so... down -? No. That's not the right word. Maybe more like dissilussioned? Yeah, that pretty much sums it up- about my supposed "friends" in college.

Though I didn't felt it that much to begin with.

Mostly because I went on break right after stopping talking to them and it pretty much feels like prior years.

I actually think that they feel the same and are waiting for me to talk to them once I get back. I must say I'm still thinking about it.

But, you know, the problem is: No matter how much I want to tell her the things I do or like or see or want, I always end up disillusioning her.

Tatoeba... her last text message.

When I was all hyper because I finally got NewS new single weeeek! –also got the PV. I like the part when Koyama puts his hands on his waist and swings. Is pretty funny. I even squealed. Squealed! For a guy I don't even like! And oh, Tegoshi Yuya. He's the cutest lovely sweety I've ever seen and don't even let me start in Yamashita Tomohisa- and was trying to learn the lyrics, she asks Hi! How are you? What are you doing? Any news?

They were NewS, that's for sure

I had a smile so big I thinks my cheekbones hurt and all glassy eyed and hyper induced answered I was learning a new song. Her reply was A song? Must be one of those in that weirdy oriental language.

Even at that point, I didn't feel insulted or anything and I still answered back all happy-go-lucky. After all, I felt over in 9th cloud. I tried to explain the feeling the song left me, specially after reading the translation.

It's a hopeful song, trying to get a message accross. It tells you not to give up enjoying life just by growing up, to take your time, day by day, enjoying what you do and with the way I've lately felt about this particular fact, hearing a song like this makes feel somehow relieved and hopeful. I still don't know how to explain it, so here are the lyrics:

weeeek! )

When I heard it the first time, I wanted to sing and dance and jump around. I couldn't tell her all this, and I feel like, even if I had sent her the translation, it wouldn't be enough and she wouldn't want to see the PV and hear a song in a language she dislikes. I confess I didn't tell her all this, but we were text messaging via cellphone, so...

Her reply was It's good you're entertained and positive. Well, good night!

Frankly, it left me feeling ashamed of what I like. As if she was hearing me out just because it was the polite thing to do, like being patient with a stupid kid. And the worst of all, it's not the first time it feels like that!

Also, when I meet with her, she often makes faces, like it is tedious and bothersome and just generally annoying. I noticed, so I stopped telling her about it, but then, I didn't have much to talk about, because I can't say Oh! I saw a wonderful movie called Yuuki and Kamenashi Kazuya is in it and it made cry, it was so great! You should see it, too  because that is NOT what she wants to hear nor does she want to watch it and school life is just not what it cracks up to be either.

I can't keep telling her about my teachers and classes when I meet her though that's usually what I do, so I don't know what to talk about. Mostly, I just keep my mouth shut and listen to her. She rather enjoys it anyway.

Also, she dislikes my mother. And my brother. Family complains are a big NO-NO -and I don't even like complainig about my family to other people to begin with-. Something about blaming her because I don't expect much from life and I'm apathetic, as if my mother kept me locked up while she was living the great life and enjoying outings or the like.

First, I'm not an out-going person. Like Infinitesimi said once, I'm nice to people, not really friendly and even when I get invited I usually decline, beacuse my classmates live in another town and it's bothersome and tiring to keep traveling on bus.

And when you try to catch up with a friend, the first thing that comes out of your mouth are not things like  My father is ill or I stopped talking to my pseudo college friends because I got tired of them. You try to say things you enjoyed or were fun to do or see, but that kinds of things are not something your friend wants nor likes to hear, what can I do?

Ok, maybe you also tell sad things or the problems you have, but......

Argh! I don't know how to say it. And there are things that doesn't need to be said.

Also, she usually phones me around 10 p.m. and I'm tired and I can't freely talk, because the phone is in the kitchen and EVERYBODY hears what I say or she phones when I feel down or I'm doing other things and don't really pay attetion and it feels like I'm not a good friend, am I?

Sigh

Everything I really utterly completely like, she dislikes. The things I think seriously over, she does not agree with. She keeps thinking I'm apathetic because my mother keeps me locked up and my family uses me like a maid so I don't have time to go out and get fun.

She keeps saying Tell me about you, how you feel, but when I do so and when she replies it feels like she is saying It is because of your mother's fears and strict education that you are like this. Mostly, this is because I don't enjoy what other people think of as fun and that's what she does not understand.

She is not by me 24/7 anymore. She doesn't see me interact with other people and she can't understand the kind of person I still am. Encased in my highschool doubts.for her, that's not how I should be. Because, to her, I should be happy, bright-eyed, outgoing, friendly, joyful, competitive, courageous,  talkative, positive, looking to the future with hope and expectatives. In short, a person who is not the present me. Maybe someday I will, maybe I'll die tomorrow. I don't know.

And no matter what I say or do, she won't stop blaming my mother for how I am. It's like I'm content with you being able to tell me all of this, but I still think your mother is at fault.

I give up.

 

 

 

 

 
 
Current Location: My brother's pc
Melody: weeeek! - NewS
 
 
kriszeth
31 December 2007 @ 11:42 am
December 31th  
Today is Master's birthday.
He'd be 22 if he were alive.
People all over the world celebrate this date as a new beggining, another chance. I can only think Today is Master's birthday... and he is not here.
I can just stay here and  think Master would be twenty two.
I can just let this day pass as any other, because I don't care if this is the last day of the year, I can only think I was never the first one to congratulate Master in his birthday. I always tried to be last one to say it, because I wanted to ask 'Was it happy? This day... Did I make you smile? Did you like my present? Were you happy... with me?'
... )

...
Mom asked me What are your intentions for this new year?
I answered Where's the point in having intentions, when you know you're not gonna do them?
...
Sometimes I wonder What would Master want for me? He'd want me to keep going and to find love again and to be happy and get a job I'd enjoy and face the world saying You will not defeat me and work hard to get all the things I may wish for, to reach out and hold onto the things I'd work for. To accept things as they are and go from there.
Master'd want me to think Ah. Today was great. I'm glad I'm alive.
But all I can think of is If Master were here, then there'd be a possibility to say and do and be all those things.
...
I can't keep going like this, ne? But this is the only way I know how to keep going.
Because even if I wish thing were different, a person who doesn't change for herself, has no right to be regretful
 
 
Current Location: my brother's pc
Current Mood: depressed
Melody: Ai nante - NewS
 
 
kriszeth
13 December 2007 @ 04:08 pm
Looking back...  
You know, looking back everything that has been my life is such an uninteresting, insignificant, useless thing.
All that was supposed to matter now is just a past thing, it doesn't matter anymore, it's useless.
School has never been difficult to me, it's just been my lazyness which has made my grades deep into the "average" categorie.
My friends classmates have been people that are in the same oplace at the same time in a particular moment.
The things that one day were all to me are now ashes and faded memories, a dream...
I'm a shadow of what was left of me once upon a time, wich was not much to begin with.
I feel like I'm suspended in time, waiting still for something though now I don't have wishes (well, maybe meet Gackt Camui, but I don't think that'll ever  happen)
ah, gotta go, I'll continue later
Tags: ,
 
 
kriszeth
11 December 2007 @ 08:57 pm
Sometimes...  
Sometimes I feel like such a bastard. I'm acting as a little girl that could have everything arranged by some omnipotent being and saying I'll do things later, because, well, I don't wanna do them right now and it's my life, my work. I'll do things my way, no matter what happens.
Whatever happens, happens is such a stupid excuse to live in and....
I've never wanted to be a good person. I'm not a bad person, or at least I haven't fallen deep enough to be a bad person, but sometimes I feel like such a bitch, a bastard really.
Mom just told us we live as if we don't have hope in life, or God.
I wonder what hope has done to me. Ten years of waiting and hoping to see them again and just when I thought I could, they die. Mom is right. I have no hope left in me, how can I hope in something else?
So I live by the rule of whatever happens, happens and I hate myself. So much more that when I lived hoping and waiting.
I need to do something about it, though I still don't know what exactly
 
 
Current Location: my brother's pc
Current Mood: contemplative
 
 
kriszeth
07 December 2007 @ 02:29 pm
School sucks  
So Kat sent a message telling me I didn't pass Thesis class because of absences
(Which univesity doesn't pass you because you accumulated 8 absences in a semester anyway? Damn catholic schools)
Supposedly the teacher wants to helps us out, so I have to go school in an hour time (fucking asshole, I didn't have more than 7 absences. Just from where did he get out the other one?!)
I can't seem to enter into my school account so I can't even check my grades and I tried to call the school but the fucking call doesn't pass through.
This fucking sucks.
It seems nothing will ever get ok for me, so I'm despising life rigth about now.
 
 
Current Location: My brother's pc
Current Mood: angry
 
 
kriszeth
02 December 2007 @ 03:18 pm
Friend-less  

So in a moment of ... well. I don't really know how to call it.
I decided it was really tiresome to talk with my friends so I stopped. I'm not gonna talk with them again. Period.
Though I'm not really sure what prompted this, but I was so really tired of them. Of hearing them babble about stupid things and (one of them) always asking me: "When are you gonna get a boyfriend?" as if I didn't have any value with out one and then saying, as if consoling, "Don't worry, I'm sure there is a fanfic out there for you". A fanfic. As if I couldn't be able to EVER get a fucking boyfriend.
Let me express what I think of this: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just who do you think you are to tell me something like that, you damn whore?!
I just LOST my Master, if you don't remember. I cried my eyes out in front of you for at least half an hour after I heard they were dead. I do not think I need a boy friend rigth now, I'll probably just make his life hell to entertain myself at this point. (Which would be awesome, so maybe I do need a boyfriend to do it)
And then she comes to say "I don't want to go on break without knowing what's happening to you". With me. As if the problem was with me. I was not the one who just lost her virginity and didn't feel all that well to do my work, so sorry but I'm gonna go take a shower and sleep. I was not the one daydreaming about my recently adquired new boyfriend. I was not the one always talking with my new husband on the phone ALL. FUCKING. DAY! EVERY. FIFTEEN MINUTES!
And she asks me what's the problem
I told her it was not personal (but of course it was!) but I decided not to talk to anybody until graduation. In a friendship plan, anyway. I told them we would always be classmates (at least until university ends.Only six months to go ! YAY!) and she put on this face of kicked puppy but I was looking for new mangas to download so they just went their merry way away from me(Finally!)
Two months of not seeing the face of my classmates!!!!
YAY!!!! Vacation!!!! HURRA!
Though I'm gonna have a lot of work to do.
And a hisghschooler stole my iPod, aren't I lucky? (Fucking asshole)
Any way, I bought another one.

so yeah, this was what happened this last week

 
 
Current Location: My brother's pc
Current Mood: calm
Melody: Kiss - L'Arc en Ciel
 
 
kriszeth
26 October 2007 @ 11:56 am
Gackt is a God in skintight leather pants.  

Really, I don't know how I've lived without knowing he existed, hearing only one of his songs (if I loved Vincent Valentine once upon a time, now He's the God I must worship with all my being for letting me know Gackt Camui was a singer. I'll never forget "Redemption", that will be the Gospel music I'll sing everyday, along with all his other songs, of course)

I've tried to look for one song to be my favorite, but I cannot.

All his music is wonderful and the translations I've found are wonderful and He is wonderful and I love Him with all my being.

His voice is the sound I want to hear forever and ever (yeah, I know that sounds mushy, but He makes me melt in a puddle of goo every time I hear Him talk, I can't even begin to tell what his voice does to me when He is singing) and in the PV of Vanilla, Oh MY FUCKIND GOD!!!!!! I wish I could know someone like him…

(Master, do not be jealous, you'll always have my heart, but I wish He had my body  ;P )

And I better cut this here, or I'll get excited with the images in my head

 

(Goes to look for Gackt material to drool over)

 
Tags: ,
 
 
Current Location: school
Melody: Vanilla - Gackt
 
 
kriszeth
25 October 2007 @ 03:32 pm
Ramblings in the classroom  

I hate it when he sits in front of me.

Hate it.

Just hate it.

Because I remember you and. You. Are. Not. HERE! But I still am and I still miss you. I still love you and dream about you and-and-and…

Every time I see his back I remember you.

 

I hate it that he wears formal shirts…

When I close my eyes, I see that formal black formal shirt you used to wear and I almost can feel the silk beneath my fingers as I hold onto you and I tremble with –out you- the need of you.

With this longing of pressing my forehead between your shoulder blades once again, your breathing evening out as your scent filled my senses with the fragrance of you and my throat aches with the whisper of your name…

Zaphiro…

            Zaphiro…

I hate it when he sits in front of me, wearing formal shirts because they remind me I can't hold onto them –onto you…- anymore.

It's almost vivid, the way I could feel your words more than I could hear them, the soft undertone of your voice asking "What's the matter?" and, most of all, that it mattered to you.

The way you tilted your head back to hear me, giving me all your attention; the book slipping from your fingers and ending up being forgotten.

How you never tried to see my face all those times, because you just knew I was breaking.

 

I'm still breaking, you know. It's just that there's nobody here to hold onto; there's no one here to not-see me falling apart…

There's no one here that can be you for me.

There's no you…

… and I wonder if, in here, there's still a me.

 

So, wherever you are, God bless you.

I still love you and I always will…

 

I just hate it, hate it when he sits in front of me wearing formal shirts…

… because I still remember you.

 
Tags:
 
 
Current Location: a cyber
Current Mood: calm
Melody: vanilla - Gackt
 
 
kriszeth
28 September 2007 @ 08:23 am
My Kingdom Hearts fic  
 
This is a fanfic inspired of a fic I read a long while back, called "Walking on Water". I don't know the author of it and can't find it to ask for permission, so I hope he or she does not get angry and banes my fic. (Can you do that?)
Of course, the KH fic I read is a Squaffie and I'm going to make an AU-crossover FFVIII/KH that will be a Yuffentine, but still, I haven't played none the games and I'm ignorant of KH but from the fics I've read.
This fic is untitled as of yet, so ideas are welcomed. I've been trying to link the name of this fic with the one it's inspired from, but just don't have enough imagination to create something fit.
And, so I can be able to continue writing this, I have a doubt: Where are living Aerith, Cid, Leon, Cloud etc, etc, etc, when they go back to Radiant Garden? It can be called Hollow Bastion while in reconstruction? In here I mention that they all live together, and I want them to do so 'till reconstruction is over, sooooooooooo…
Hope somebody helps and if I have an error, tell me so I can fix it. As English is not my first language, I'm gonna make a lot of them.
Thanks for reading and I wait for some reviews (Wishful thinking, I know. A girl can dream, can't she?)
Kingdom Hearts and all its characters are property of Square Enix, btw.



 
 
Current Location: Classroom
Current Mood: depressed
Melody: Still... - Arashi
 
 
kriszeth
24 September 2007 @ 07:49 pm
Yuffentine fanfic  

Have you ever read Sunshine in Winter? I did and loved this phrase, so I made my own drabble with it. Don't expect much, though, English is not my first language and I make a lot of grammar mistakes.

Post DoC

 

Theme:  )

 

 

 

It's not the best, but well. I wanted to write something.

Also I haven't played any FFVII games. I haven't played a PS2 game. Period. So there.

Ah! None of this characters are mine. I obviously don't have the master mind of Square Enix to even portray them, how do you expect me to have created them?

 

 
 
Current Mood: artistic
 
 
kriszeth
20 August 2007 @ 02:25 pm
It began...  
Today I start doing my social service, I don't know anything about what I'm doing.
It's weird.
Don't have a lot to say, so...
Whatever
 
 
kriszeth
02 August 2007 @ 01:15 pm
None really  
It's been 25 weeks or so LJ says so I thought maybe I should update this before it's taken down, though I don't know if it can be done. Anyway, I wrote something and eventhough I know the people it's in memory of it's not here anymore, you'd aprecciate it... I hope.
So, here it's the las part of the meaning of a smile:


Nameless )
 
 
 
 

Nameless )


Tags: , ,
 
 
Current Mood: blah
 
 
kriszeth
08 February 2007 @ 09:59 am
Growth  
Estoy aterrorizada. Tengo 20 años y me veo ante la necesidad de crecer y madurar...
Sabes, siempre pensè que siempre habrìa tiempo suficiente para hacerlo, pero en la situaciòn en la que me encuentro debì haber madurado hace ya un año y yo aùn me siento tan perdida como cuando no sabìa que hacer al salir de la preparatoria.
Creo que ya no tengo ànimospra escribir
Tags:
 
 
kriszeth
06 October 2006 @ 02:48 pm
Finished  
I feell... well I don't know, I've been finsishing more stories tna in the last couple years, so...
Well, this is the edited "The meaning of a smile", hope you enjoy it...
If you read it ofcourse.

The meaning of a smile

His name )


Her name )
 
 
kriszeth
26 September 2006 @ 12:00 pm
De esperanzas vives...  
Pero de desilusiones mueres....
Hoy hicimos una dinámica en clase donde la vida nos quitaba algo importante para nosotros. Mequitaron la esperanza y eso es algo que realmente dolió, sabes?
No hay mucho que decir, pero solo quería nombrarlo. 
Tal vez  luego regrese a comentar algo sobre esto, pero por el momento solo puedo decir que este dolor en mi pecho me ha dejado vacía.
Tags:
 
 
kriszeth
25 September 2006 @ 09:03 am
It is raining  

There are many ways of how to expres how you feel.
It's not always the most undestandable, but the most honest.
It's raining and I think it's a day so beautiful because of it, that I can't do anything but feel soothed, calm... happy.

When it's cold, I feel lonely and when I think about pink I know something wrong or not pleasing to my eyes. 
I've wondered if people has this kind of analogies (is the correct word to use?)

Anyway, I don't know, maybe I feel happu only because I read two chapters of 'Missing by a mile' before coming to school and thought Heero's an asshole and poor, poor Relena but this is so fucking funny and I've discovered that I like using the word fuck to accentuate some things. I don't live in a place where is a bad thing to say even if here is still a bad word, but I like the sound of it.

Yeah, yeah. I know I'm weird, but you must bear it. You're my diary after all.

I'm still wondering if I should up-load my stories in here. There's not much people to read them (Well, infinitesimi and tealeaves)
I'm beggining to think as a I write, though, is that a good or a bad thing?

You know, I think I can't write, eventhough yesterday I advanced one to two pages in some of my stories.

Ne, ne, I've been thinking...
I'm doing this a diary of what I read. Which would be good, but as I don't have interenet in my house, is difficult to keep track of the tittles I do read if it's not novel lenght and then only when I do really love it.

But I love much too easily when the character is funny, or complicated or is only being himself... or when the author have a wonderful plot with all the right amount of drama, or fun, or romance and... 

This is a BIG parenthesis non-related with what I was talking:
(Mou, I want the OVA of Gravitation.
I LOVE YUKI EIRI...
eventhough if I do forget his real name.
XD
-Mite, mite. I did it again.  This love bussiness is complicated-)

I think my stories doesn't have plot bunnies, but are a bunch of mushy stuff.
I'd envy the way some wirtters can do it, and for that I love them... some of them... well, their writtings, because you can't love someone you don't really know... 
Isn't it?
Anyway I should be paying attention to my teacher but I HATE him. Well, not hate, because I've never really hated someone, but he's a pin in the neck and causes my headaches. So I won't pay attention, it's not as if I'm gonna use this in my life. I'm studying to be a lawyer, Im not gonna need to know about what-was-his-name-again and what he said.... Well, maybe for the exam, but that's what memory is for.

Do I sound like a little girl? 

But then, I scare people when I act all serious and moody and stuff. Maybe because I do want to scare them with what I say.
-Crack an evil laugh-

n.nU

I should cut this one, so 

Ja ne!

 
 
kriszeth
14 September 2006 @ 08:38 am
Ok, I want to cry...  
I read an entry about the FMA movie, The conqueror of Shamballa and I think I'm going to cry.
It was a pretty one even if it didn't touch the Winry/Ed relationship that I so adore.
Also, you know, it got to me until yesterday that Master hasn't told me anything about my performance in school, wich I may add it's pathetic, and that some how hurts, because when he doesn't say anything it means he's dissapointed in me, and...
Do I still have to wonder why I relate myself with words such as shame and doubt?
There's something to say about it, isn't it?
But in reality, it's not as if he's here to tell me or not tell me anything.
I wanted...
I don't know.
I just don't know.
It's not as if I don't know that he has reasons not to be with me, he must have pretty good reasons...
At least I hope so and I think I'm going crazy and FUCKING God, please somebody help me......................................................






This is like throwing ashes to the wind, you know.
Nobody notices, nobody wonders, nobody cares.
And this is why I did this in first place.
But somerimes I wish somebody could answer.
I've faded away for so long, drifting to nowhere....





I nedd you, whomever you may be.
I wonder if someday we'll meet each other.
I just can hope, can't I?
But it's somehow so difficult, Master.
I wish you were here, and that is the main problem.
I can only wish...



Today it's not raining.
Tags: ,
 
 
kriszeth
11 September 2006 @ 09:51 am
2.5  
Me saqué un dos punto cinco en procesal civil. 
DOS punto cinco
dos punto CINCO
DOS PUNTO CINCO
Sí, tenía que recalcarlo, porque aún no supero mi calificación.
Dios, como pude caer tan bajo?
No es para llorar, hubo quienes sacaron 1.5, no que eso me haga sentir mejor.
En fin no hay mucho que decir d emi vida ahora. Excepto que Esther me hizo pensar en mi vida, cosa que suelo evitar, y Master dijo que estaba pensando mucho sobre lo mismo de nuevo, aunuqe creo que él se refería a la historia que estaba leyendo.
I LOVE DAVONTE!!!!
Algún día voy a dejarle un mensaje a Isis cw y decirle cuanto amo al personaje que ella inventó.
Y Quatre e s un amor, pero eso ya lo sabía, y Dorothy es maravillosa y creo que también me enamoré de ella.
Y en Realizations -se llamaba así?- Heero dijo TE  AMO y por eso lo amo a él.
Porque no conozoc a nadie como él?
En fin, no que importe, Nada que fuese real sería tan perfecto (aún si siendo un personaje él es imperfecto -excepto como soldado, ahí si es perfecto-)
Pero ya comencé aescribir tonterías, no que alguna vez escriba cosas inteligentes.
Ah...
Mi alma está liberada. Bueno, realmente no, pero debo usar algún típo de exoresión para... pues para expresarme.
Odio al FLY, proque no e dijo que hubo convención de comics este fin de semana y llegó presumiendo, así que quiero matarlo.
Esperanza escucha en la compu de Memo una canción que después explicaré porque me tiene traumada y tal vez haya encontrado la razón por la cual no puedo escuchar música en mi idioma, pero la maestra llegó al salón y probablmente Chucho quiera su computadora de vuelta.
Creo que esta es la entrada más larga que he hecho.
 
 
kriszeth
30 August 2006 @ 11:02 am
In sorrow to be here again, I am loving you  
Master, I miss you.
Tags: ,
 
 
kriszeth
25 August 2006 @ 09:10 am
Word Hunting  
Me he dado cuenta de que a pesar de la forma en que escribo y de que en unas vacaiones me la pasé leyendo un diccionario enciclopédico hasta altas horas de la madrugada -así estaba de aburrida- a veces mientras habló, olvido las palabras que quiero decir. También que cuando estoy hablando en español me llegan las palabras en inglés y que cuando habló en inglés algunas palabras se me salen las palabras en español.
A veces es frustante. Me pregunto si solo a mí me s