EVER FELT LIKE THIS?
 

 
New semester in shool:
   This semester I'm gonna put all my effort into school!!

First week:
    So hard and it has been only a week, mou
 
Second week:
     Ok, I'm getting into it again

Before the first test
      I need to begin preparing for the exams

In the first exam period 
     Uwaaaa!!!! Why didn't I study?


After the firt exam period
     At least!! No more presure, I can relax
 
Before finals:
   Chill out, I'll pass, I just need to study a little more for finals

Once you know the date and time of the final:

    WHAT?!!!!! SO SOON?!!!!!!!!!!
 
7 days before the test
   I'll begin studying tomorrow
 
6days before the test
  Yappari, I love this song!
 
5 days before the test
  The last classes in the semester are so boring. MOU! I want to go on break already

4 days before the exam
Fucking end of semester. I need to relax so I can begin to study
 
3 days before the test
Yahoo!! I'll be on break soon!
 
2 days before the test
  Mou, damnit!!!! I have a lot to study
 
A day before the test
 Why, oh why didn't I study in the semester?!!!!!!!

The night before the test
 Ok, now I'll begin to stu.... zzzzzzzzz
 
One hour before the test

     HOW COULD I HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP?!!!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T I STUDY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
In the final exam

   It's all over, I'm doomed

Once you get out the exam
  God help me, I swear that if I pass I'l study earnestly

After finals, on break
   Who rocks, eh? WHO ROCKS?!!!

Lately, ne, I've been reading Shige's essays in Myojo. I must say "Wow!", because is always refreshing and touching and just plain awesome how he can write all THAT from only one word. Mostly because he does not try to give out lessons and advice, but because he's giving you inkling into his life, how he thinks and how he feels. It's clearly enjoyable how his words link into this amazing piece of reading material from what seem simple prompts.

And so, here's my failed attempt into this kinda writing, although mine WILL be 1 000 times more depresing. God, I need to see kurosagi, definitely, when is it gonna be subbed again? Is someone even gonna sub it? Anybody?

Weeeek!

My favorite song right about now.

Ok, into more... serious? Other things. I've wondering What's the point?

Esther keeps saying  Please, confide in me. Tell me about you, the things you do and the things you like. What you see and what you want.

That's great coming from a friend, specially when I felt so... down -? No. That's not the right word. Maybe more like dissilussioned? Yeah, that pretty much sums it up- about my supposed "friends" in college.

Though I didn't felt it that much to begin with.

Mostly because I went on break right after stopping talking to them and it pretty much feels like prior years.

I actually think that they feel the same and are waiting for me to talk to them once I get back. I must say I'm still thinking about it.

So in a moment of ... well. I don't really know how to call it.
I decided it was really tiresome to talk with my friends so I stopped. I'm not gonna talk with them again. Period.
Though I'm not really sure what prompted this, but I was so really tired of them. Of hearing them babble about stupid things and (one of them) always asking me: "When are you gonna get a boyfriend?" as if I didn't have any value with out one and then saying, as if consoling, "Don't worry, I'm sure there is a fanfic out there for you". A fanfic. As if I couldn't be able to EVER get a fucking boyfriend.
Let me express what I think of this: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just who do you think you are to tell me something like that, you damn whore?!
I just LOST my Master, if you don't remember. I cried my eyes out in front of you for at least half an hour after I heard they were dead. I do not think I need a boy friend rigth now, I'll probably just make his life hell to entertain myself at this point. (Which would be awesome, so maybe I do need a boyfriend to do it)
And then she comes to say "I don't want to go on break without knowing what's happening to you". With me. As if the problem was with me. I was not the one who just lost her virginity and didn't feel all that well to do my work, so sorry but I'm gonna go take a shower and sleep. I was not the one daydreaming about my recently adquired new boyfriend. I was not the one always talking with my new husband on the phone ALL. FUCKING. DAY! EVERY. FIFTEEN MINUTES!
And she asks me what's the problem
I told her it was not personal (but of course it was!) but I decided not to talk to anybody until graduation. In a friendship plan, anyway. I told them we would always be classmates (at least until university ends.Only six months to go ! YAY!) and she put on this face of kicked puppy but I was looking for new mangas to download so they just went their merry way away from me(Finally!)
Two months of not seeing the face of my classmates!!!!
YAY!!!! Vacation!!!! HURRA!
Though I'm gonna have a lot of work to do.
And a hisghschooler stole my iPod, aren't I lucky? (Fucking asshole)
Any way, I bought another one.

so yeah, this was what happened this last week

Really, I don't know how I've lived without knowing he existed, hearing only one of his songs (if I loved Vincent Valentine once upon a time, now He's the God I must worship with all my being for letting me know Gackt Camui was a singer. I'll never forget "Redemption", that will be the Gospel music I'll sing everyday, along with all his other songs, of course)

I've tried to look for one song to be my favorite, but I cannot.

All his music is wonderful and the translations I've found are wonderful and He is wonderful and I love Him with all my being.

His voice is the sound I want to hear forever and ever (yeah, I know that sounds mushy, but He makes me melt in a puddle of goo every time I hear Him talk, I can't even begin to tell what his voice does to me when He is singing) and in the PV of Vanilla, Oh MY FUCKIND GOD!!!!!! I wish I could know someone like him…

(Master, do not be jealous, you'll always have my heart, but I wish He had my body  ;P )

And I better cut this here, or I'll get excited with the images in my head

(Goes to look for Gackt material to drool over)

I hate it when he sits in front of me.

Hate it.

Just hate it.

Because I remember you and. You. Are. Not. HERE! But I still am and I still miss you. I still love you and dream about you and-and-and…

Every time I see his back I remember you.

I hate it that he wears formal shirts…

When I close my eyes, I see that formal black formal shirt you used to wear and I almost can feel the silk beneath my fingers as I hold onto you and I tremble with –out you- the need of you.

With this longing of pressing my forehead between your shoulder blades once again, your breathing evening out as your scent filled my senses with the fragrance of you and my throat aches with the whisper of your name…

Zaphiro…

            Zaphiro…

I hate it when he sits in front of me, wearing formal shirts because they remind me I can't hold onto them –onto you…- anymore.

It's almost vivid, the way I could feel your words more than I could hear them, the soft undertone of your voice asking "What's the matter?" and, most of all, that it mattered to you.

The way you tilted your head back to hear me, giving me all your attention; the book slipping from your fingers and ending up being forgotten.

How you never tried to see my face all those times, because you just knew I was breaking.

I'm still breaking, you know. It's just that there's nobody here to hold onto; there's no one here to not-see me falling apart…

There's no one here that can be you for me.

There's no you…

… and I wonder if, in here, there's still a me.

So, wherever you are, God bless you.

I still love you and I always will…

I just hate it, hate it when he sits in front of me wearing formal shirts…

… because I still remember you.

Have you ever read Sunshine in Winter? I did and loved this phrase, so I made my own drabble with it. Don't expect much, though, English is not my first language and I make a lot of grammar mistakes.

Post DoC

There are many ways of how to expres how you feel.
It's not always the most undestandable, but the most honest.
It's raining and I think it's a day so beautiful because of it, that I can't do anything but feel soothed, calm... happy.

When it's cold, I feel lonely and when I think about pink I know something wrong or not pleasing to my eyes. 
I've wondered if people has this kind of analogies (is the correct word to use?)

Anyway, I don't know, maybe I feel happu only because I read two chapters of 'Missing by a mile' before coming to school and thought Heero's an asshole and poor, poor Relena but this is so fucking funny and I've discovered that I like using the word fuck to accentuate some things. I don't live in a place where is a bad thing to say even if here is still a bad word, but I like the sound of it.

Yeah, yeah. I know I'm weird, but you must bear it. You're my diary after all.

I'm still wondering if I should up-load my stories in here. There's not much people to read them (Well, infinitesimi and tealeaves)
I'm beggining to think as a I write, though, is that a good or a bad thing?

You know, I think I can't write, eventhough yesterday I advanced one to two pages in some of my stories.

Ne, ne, I've been thinking...
I'm doing this a diary of what I read. Which would be good, but as I don't have interenet in my house, is difficult to keep track of the tittles I do read if it's not novel lenght and then only when I do really love it.

But I love much too easily when the character is funny, or complicated or is only being himself... or when the author have a wonderful plot with all the right amount of drama, or fun, or romance and... 

This is a BIG parenthesis non-related with what I was talking:
(Mou, I want the OVA of Gravitation.
I LOVE YUKI EIRI...
eventhough if I do forget his real name.
XD
-Mite, mite. I did it again.  This love bussiness is complicated-)

I think my stories doesn't have plot bunnies, but are a bunch of mushy stuff.
I'd envy the way some wirtters can do it, and for that I love them... some of them... well, their writtings, because you can't love someone you don't really know... 
Isn't it?
Anyway I should be paying attention to my teacher but I HATE him. Well, not hate, because I've never really hated someone, but he's a pin in the neck and causes my headaches. So I won't pay attention, it's not as if I'm gonna use this in my life. I'm studying to be a lawyer, Im not gonna need to know about what-was-his-name-again and what he said.... Well, maybe for the exam, but that's what memory is for.

Do I sound like a little girl? 

But then, I scare people when I act all serious and moody and stuff. Maybe because I do want to scare them with what I say.
-Crack an evil laugh-

n.nU

I should cut this one, so 

Ja ne!